Wizard People, Dear Reader

A couple of us watched Wizard People, Dear Reader last night. It's either a hilarious stroke of absolute genius, or the most juvenile kind of stupidity imaginable. Probably both of them at once.

For anyone who doesn't know, Wizard People a basically new "soundtrack" for Harry Potter and Sorcerer's Stone, created by comic-book artist Brad Neely. It's an improv-like narration (and analysis) of the events that are happening in the movie, designed to be played along with the film. The plot is pretty much the same. But the characterization is screwed up beyond hope of redemption.

And it's hilarious. Because along with just the plain stupid things, there are definite lines of consistent, dead-on satire. Especially the characterization of Harry as a demi-god. If Rowling ever needed to be taken down a notch, the utter aptness this characterization does it perfectly.

There are stretches of the 2.5 hours that drag at times, and there are definitely some scenes that could have had far better narration attached to them. But Neely manages to keep you listening. His voice is a brilliant half-drunk monotone (he's ripping off some poet's voice somewhere, apparently). The metaphors he uses to describe characters and settings are insane. And -- again -- his psychological analysis of Harry Potter rocks my socks off.

It pretty much has to speak for itself. Listen to a clip of it here.

Read some more of the lines in this review.

Or download the whole thing here

My personal nine favorite things in no particular order...
1. The metaphors. The insanely random metaphors. "She glares at them, and her voice is cold. Like a piano made of frozen Windex."

2. The lengthy daydreams Harry has as he flies his broomstick. They have nothing at all to do with the scene. But they are hilarious. One centers around an aged wedding cake, and the other involves the discovery of North America and a beautiful giant Indian warrior woman.

3. Harry Potter. A destined child-wizard of uber-god-like powers, isolated by his superiority, coming to terms with his identity and mortality. Hence insanely melodramatic inner monolouges. Plus getting drunk a lot.

4. All the other insanely melodramatic descriptions and monologues.

5. The sound effects. "Blaam! Blam. Blaaam! The door bursts open!" "Woosh! Kawoosh!"

6. The "Gateway to Heaven." Step aside, Mirror of Erised. Neely's psuedo-philosophical conundrums, involving something about Harry's initiation into manhood and the courage to face the hot-blooded nothingness of mortality, are well worth the price of admission.

7. The really fast movement of the three-headed dog.

8. The origin of the sorting hat. And of Hagrid's dragon.

9. Snape.

I hate the fact that I can't give it a wholehearted recommendation to everyone I know. Neely keeps it cleaner than I expected -- but my expectations were pretty low. The f-word is thrown around all the time, with increasing frequency and intensity as the movie progresses. Spoken, shouted, you name it. As is "shit," though less often. There's far less scatological 'humor' than I expected, but still way too much. Plus there's the whole Quidditch subtext. So watch with care.